Sigh.

[mellicious]

My mother died this afternoon. I got there with about an hour to spare. Nobody had called me to say she was worse, and so I was "dawdling" around (i.e., eating lunch, calling the lawyer, etc.) and I would have felt terrible if I hadn't gotten there in time. It wasn't a pretty thing to watch, though.

I am exhausted. The funeral home guys (who turned out to be girls, as a matter of fact) got caught in an especially horrid traffic jam and took a couple of hours to get there. In the meantime I talked to everybody in the world on the phone - at least it seemed like it. Let's see, it was: Rob, my aunt, my sister (both of those two were loong conversations, too), my dad, my dad again, my nephew and my ex-brother-in-law. Oh, and the funeral negotiator and the lady from the church. And then at least two people came in to see my mom, not having heard yet that she was dead. That was sort of traumatic. I spent the afternoon veering wildly between calm, weeping, and cracking bad jokes. But oh well.

I'm going to be interested to see how I manage tomorrow. Right now I just feel tired and sort of numb. I just hope I don't have nightmares about watching my mother struggle to breathe. Tomorrow: more phone calls, meeting with the pastor about the funeral, etc. Rob took off work, for which I am profoundly grateful. He can be my chauffeur; I don't really trust my driving right now.


I guess somebody probably ought to post something on the two forums - TOG and TUS - and explain what's happened. Col or Falaria, can one of you take care of TOG? And I asked Anth to post something at TUS because she had PMd me today, but if she hasn't in the morning, will somebody take over that duty? I have been playing GW in a desultory way since I got home - I had to do something! - but I haven't spoken to a soul. I didn't have the heart.

I don't think that many people who read this are close enough to consider coming, but the services are tentatively set for Tuesday, at the Lutheran church in Nassau Bay, Texas. I will know more tomorrow.

Comments

[miz-hatbox.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I understand that "numb" feeling...too much experience with it. Be gentle with yourself.

I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts. I know I'm far away and we've never met, but if there's anything I can do, let me know.

[sanders268.livejournal.com]

Take good care, Mel -- my condolences to you and your family.

[fairydust1.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Hopefully your mother is at peace now, and you can find comfort there. *HUG*

[peebles.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry, Mel. Please take care of yourself.

[llcoolvad.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to hear it. My condolences to you and your family.

[aet.livejournal.com]

My condolences to you and your family. Take care.

[x-falaria-x.livejournal.com]

Oh man! I'm getting to my F-list really late today. I'm sooo sorry Mel. :( Though I'm not going through it, I'm still upset and mad at the same time. Too soon, too sudden, not fair. I've posted to TOG. Since you mentioned you were in-game today, I explained that you may pop in but not be very responsive considering. Any pm's you get, also mentioned you won't reply asap or for a while. Lucutis and I will be thinking of you and your family. please take care and we'll see you when you're ready. *hugs*

[ursulahitler.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[beckysays.livejournal.com]

Mel, my condolences to you and your family. I hope a;; of you can find solace in good memories.

So you'll know, Anth did post a lovely note to TUS. Take care, and know you're in my thoughts.

[melange428.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, Mel. Take good care.

[bookshop.livejournal.com]

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

[drgnflydreaming.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss, Mel.
Take care of yourself.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry.

Remember the bodily necessities as much as you can -- having some nuts or some dried fruit in your bag may be useful as you make arrangements etc. And I hope that all the arrangement-making that needs doing goes as smoothly as possible.

[iko.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss. The thoughts of my family are with you and yours.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_stranger_here/]

Oh, Mel, I'm sorry. My condolences and sympathies to you and your loved ones. Please take care.

[lyn-never.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry Mel. My condolences to you and your family.

[abadinfluence.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss, Mel. Take care. julia

[molly_may]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[kymmz.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, what a dreadful thing to have to go through.

[amandapage.livejournal.com]

Mel, Jeff and I send our condolences. We're thinking of you all.

[chanfaina.livejournal.com]

Oh, Mel. I am so sorry. And everyone else has it right -- please be good to yourself. You've spent a lot of time taking care of other people and other things recently, and you're entitled to give yourself the same gentle care.

And please know that if there is anything I can do (whether it's offering practical, paperworky kind of support, or whatever), I am a PM away.

[sarcasticah.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry, hon.

[otherwise-nyc.livejournal.com]

Getting the news late, as I am on a trip, but I am very sorry to hear about your mother's death. I'm glad you were able to be there with her, despite how upsetting it was.

Be kind with yourself as much as you can, even when it includes telling other people to bug off and leave you alone.

[selila.livejournal.com]

i am also late hearing the news...

many condolences to you and your family, mel.

please take care of yourself.