Dec. 13th, 2011

mellicious: pink manicure (Xmas - CB tree)
I was coming to write something about depression and I got sidetracked by [livejournal.com profile] cleolinda talking about her depression, and part of the zillion comments that follow it - I'm not normally a big reader of other people's comments but I occasionally make an exception for hers. And these were mostly along the yes! yes! yes! lines but in a good way - the "I recognize this" way. Not that this is news for most people nowadays, but I really think depression still gets overlooked a lot, and even when it doesn't there are still a lot of people who don't think it's a "real" disease.


What I was really going to write about was how the weather seems to be affecting me lately. I'm working part-time in an office with a lovely view of expensive boats, and that's great, but I don't seem to notice the boats, half the time - I notice the weather instead, and I seem to mirror it. If it's sunny so am I, and if it's gloomy, well, ditto. If it wasn't a place with some 300 days of sunshine a year, I suspect I'd be in trouble. Apparently I have some degree of seasonal affective disorder anyway, and we knew that, but as autumn has set in and we started having such a thing as non-sunny days, it's been amazing to watch myself react to them. And if the sun so much as peeks out, my gloom lifts, too. Amazing, and kind of scary, that my mood is that fragile.

The last couple of winters I've gone into a pretty bad depression along about February, so it's going to be interesting to see how I hold up as winter goes on, this year when I'm getting out a lot more... In theory, it should help. I mean, when I was unemployed I really didn't go out much, so at least I'm out and about and getting whatever sunlight there is. One way I approach all this is as a big experiment, have you noticed? Well, let's see how this works. On good days, at least, this is my entertainment; on bad days, not so much. But so far I'm hanging in there.


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Oh lord, there's also this one which I found through Cleolinda's comments: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html
I like the part about the exoskeleton.

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