Pardon me while I have a girly moment.
Feb. 25th, 2009 09:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
melliciousOK, I can't stand it. Let's talk Oscar dresses. You can play along with me by looking at this slide show from the NYTimes (I like the way this is organized partly by color) or I'm sure you can google, if you'd rather.
Taraji P. Henson: Love it. Love the necklace, too.
Miley Cyrus: eh. It might work better on somebody else, I don't know. I think it's a little too foofy for my taste - however, I don't promise to be consistent about these things.
Jessica Biel: I'm up in the air about this one - it doesn't look bad in this picture but I really think that drapery in the front is a bit much.
Anne Hathaway: I hated this when I saw it on the red carpet but it looks better here. The bottom half of it is pretty fabulous, and it was the top half I was objecting to. I'm not big on strapless dresses on most people (more on this below, I'm sure) and I think she's so pale that this pale dress really washes her out. (I'm not too crazy about her hair, either.)
Let's lump these first three red dresses on the next page together - Virginia Madsen, Heidi Klum and Amanda Seyfried. Virginia Madsen's is the most restrained and I think works the best by far of the three. Amanda Seyfried's is totally too much, as far as I'm concerned. Heidi Klum's looked better when I saw it Sunday than it does in this picture, but I think it's pretty fussy. It's definitely something only a supermodel (or maybe a Tilda Swinton) could pull off, but I'm on the fence about whether she actually did.
Taraji P. Henson: Love it. Love the necklace, too.
Miley Cyrus: eh. It might work better on somebody else, I don't know. I think it's a little too foofy for my taste - however, I don't promise to be consistent about these things.
Jessica Biel: I'm up in the air about this one - it doesn't look bad in this picture but I really think that drapery in the front is a bit much.
Anne Hathaway: I hated this when I saw it on the red carpet but it looks better here. The bottom half of it is pretty fabulous, and it was the top half I was objecting to. I'm not big on strapless dresses on most people (more on this below, I'm sure) and I think she's so pale that this pale dress really washes her out. (I'm not too crazy about her hair, either.)
Let's lump these first three red dresses on the next page together - Virginia Madsen, Heidi Klum and Amanda Seyfried. Virginia Madsen's is the most restrained and I think works the best by far of the three. Amanda Seyfried's is totally too much, as far as I'm concerned. Heidi Klum's looked better when I saw it Sunday than it does in this picture, but I think it's pretty fussy. It's definitely something only a supermodel (or maybe a Tilda Swinton) could pull off, but I'm on the fence about whether she actually did.
Then there's Amy Adams. I like the dress, and I like that necklace, too, although from what I've read I may be in the minority on that. I'm not crazy about her bright-red lipstick; once again, I don't think she has the coloring to pull it off.
Next page, more white dresses, and this is the page where I decided I felt like writing about this.
First is Marisa Tomei and her ten zillion pleats, which I absolutely love. If you had shown me this one and also Taraji Henson's with all the layers, I think I would have been pretty 'meh' - but on them, at least, they totally work. Also, when did the one-shoulder dresses become a trend? I would have said it was from Michelle Obama, but apparently Marisa's dress was in a runway show before that, so maybe not. They were all over the place, anyway.
Penelope Cruz: I'm not too crazy about this one. I don't think the bodice does anything for her. And I can't decide if the skirt is pretty or dowdy - or both. It's a fine line sometimes.
Sarah Jessica Parker: this is a tough one. Really, I think the dress is pretty, except for the way her boobs are pushed up into her neck. (See, this is the strapless-dress conundrum. Which is better, SJP's pushed-up boobs, or Penelope's, which are on the verge of looking a bit saggy?) I like the damn ballerina skirt. I hate to say it but I do. And I like the silver embroidery, although I'm not sure what those silver bits on her hips are supposed to be. I totally and utterly hate her hair, though. (If I ever got the steam up I could do a whole SJP rant: I find her both appalling and admirable. I can't stand Sex in the City and I think she wears some really horrid clothes; on the other hand, she takes a lot of interesting risks and manages to look really great a lot of the time considering that she is really not a beautiful woman, not at all.)
Queen Latifah: eh. I think she had on a different dress when she sang, which I liked better.
Alicia Keys: don't like it - all that drapery going every which way.
Freida Pinto: she looks great, as she always does, and yet I'm not too crazy about this dress. I think I might like it fine if it didn't have that lace sleeve. Great color, though.
Natalie Portman: meh. I like this color better than Alicia Keys' although they are pretty similar; this one is less muddy. Another strapless that's not particularly flattering. (Is she really that flat-chested? I never noticed it before.) Overall, it's another one where the skirt is pretty but I'm not crazy about the top half.
I'm starting to run out of steam so let's hit the highlights. From the 'black dress' page:
Marion Cotillard: meh
Vanessa Hudgens: wtf is that on the top? I like the skirt, though; I had a Barbie dress when I was about four that looked just like that.
Diane Lane: walking the line between pretty and dull.
Beyonce Knowles: this is a love-it-or-hate-it one, I think, and I kinda love it. I am not generally a huge Beyonce fan, but she is definitely somebody who can pull off the dramatic stuff.
Next page, which I guess is sorta the neutral page:
Kate Winslet: I like the shape of the dress but not the execution, quite. Also, I don't think she quite pulls of the Grace Kelly look. (I'm glad she won, though.)
Meryl Streep: awfully mother-of-the-bride, don't you think?
Tilda Swinton: I love her but I don't think this one works. Great skirt, awful top. Makeup's not great either.
Evan Rachel Wood: looks great, actually, although I'm still skeeved about those rumors about her making out with Mickey Rourke. Ew. (That was not at the Oscars but sometime in the past. I just read it someplace and I can't let it go.)
Then we get the gold-ish page. Two hits, two big misses. Tina Fey looks fabulous; so does Viola Davis. (Love that color.) Melissa Leo, not so much. (a) it looks like a bad prom dress, (b) the color is too close to her hair color, I think, and (c) we kinda got the saggy boob thing going again. And I really hate to say it, but Sophia Loren and all those ruffles? Horrible. (Also not a great color for her. But she lost me on the ruffles, in any case.) (Hmm, then again, the ruffles might not have been so bad in, say, red. Or cobalt blue, or something. She seems to me like a jewel-tones person.)
Next page is all the kids and you can't criticize them. Besides, they look adorable. The woman on the left in the dark red sari looks great, too.
Next page: is Jennifer Aniston tiny or is John Mayer huge? They look very oddly proportioned. (Says the 5'2" fat lady who is married to a six-foot-tall skinny guy.) Her dress is alright, nothing extraordinary. And John Legend's date looks pretty hot, whoever she is.
Robin Wright Penn: kinda dull, although I really like Sean Penn's all-black tux. I looked at Brad Pitt and said, "Man, he's looking kinda middle-aged." Angelina is just normal Angelina, although I like the green earrings and I'm not crazy about her hair. (This was a year with lots of very restrained hairdos, and I didn't care much for most of them, really.)
Next page is two dresses I don't like, but both of them are on non-famous people so I won't rag on them. (It's Mrs Downey Jr. and James Franco's date, if you're not following along and you really want to know.) Next page, ditto. Oh, no, wait, that's PHOEBE CATES? Well, she's fair game, I guess, and my god she looks like somebody's grandmother. Man, when did that happen? Also, that orange-red on both of those dresses is kinda awful. Next page is more wives that we will refrain from criticizing (well, one of them looks good), and then we finish up with Mickey Rourke, who is kinda beyond criticism, don't you think? He just looks like he always does. I do kinda like the white, though.
Next page, more white dresses, and this is the page where I decided I felt like writing about this.
First is Marisa Tomei and her ten zillion pleats, which I absolutely love. If you had shown me this one and also Taraji Henson's with all the layers, I think I would have been pretty 'meh' - but on them, at least, they totally work. Also, when did the one-shoulder dresses become a trend? I would have said it was from Michelle Obama, but apparently Marisa's dress was in a runway show before that, so maybe not. They were all over the place, anyway.
Penelope Cruz: I'm not too crazy about this one. I don't think the bodice does anything for her. And I can't decide if the skirt is pretty or dowdy - or both. It's a fine line sometimes.
Sarah Jessica Parker: this is a tough one. Really, I think the dress is pretty, except for the way her boobs are pushed up into her neck. (See, this is the strapless-dress conundrum. Which is better, SJP's pushed-up boobs, or Penelope's, which are on the verge of looking a bit saggy?) I like the damn ballerina skirt. I hate to say it but I do. And I like the silver embroidery, although I'm not sure what those silver bits on her hips are supposed to be. I totally and utterly hate her hair, though. (If I ever got the steam up I could do a whole SJP rant: I find her both appalling and admirable. I can't stand Sex in the City and I think she wears some really horrid clothes; on the other hand, she takes a lot of interesting risks and manages to look really great a lot of the time considering that she is really not a beautiful woman, not at all.)
Queen Latifah: eh. I think she had on a different dress when she sang, which I liked better.
Alicia Keys: don't like it - all that drapery going every which way.
Freida Pinto: she looks great, as she always does, and yet I'm not too crazy about this dress. I think I might like it fine if it didn't have that lace sleeve. Great color, though.
Natalie Portman: meh. I like this color better than Alicia Keys' although they are pretty similar; this one is less muddy. Another strapless that's not particularly flattering. (Is she really that flat-chested? I never noticed it before.) Overall, it's another one where the skirt is pretty but I'm not crazy about the top half.
I'm starting to run out of steam so let's hit the highlights. From the 'black dress' page:
Marion Cotillard: meh
Vanessa Hudgens: wtf is that on the top? I like the skirt, though; I had a Barbie dress when I was about four that looked just like that.
Diane Lane: walking the line between pretty and dull.
Beyonce Knowles: this is a love-it-or-hate-it one, I think, and I kinda love it. I am not generally a huge Beyonce fan, but she is definitely somebody who can pull off the dramatic stuff.
Next page, which I guess is sorta the neutral page:
Kate Winslet: I like the shape of the dress but not the execution, quite. Also, I don't think she quite pulls of the Grace Kelly look. (I'm glad she won, though.)
Meryl Streep: awfully mother-of-the-bride, don't you think?
Tilda Swinton: I love her but I don't think this one works. Great skirt, awful top. Makeup's not great either.
Evan Rachel Wood: looks great, actually, although I'm still skeeved about those rumors about her making out with Mickey Rourke. Ew. (That was not at the Oscars but sometime in the past. I just read it someplace and I can't let it go.)
Then we get the gold-ish page. Two hits, two big misses. Tina Fey looks fabulous; so does Viola Davis. (Love that color.) Melissa Leo, not so much. (a) it looks like a bad prom dress, (b) the color is too close to her hair color, I think, and (c) we kinda got the saggy boob thing going again. And I really hate to say it, but Sophia Loren and all those ruffles? Horrible. (Also not a great color for her. But she lost me on the ruffles, in any case.) (Hmm, then again, the ruffles might not have been so bad in, say, red. Or cobalt blue, or something. She seems to me like a jewel-tones person.)
Next page is all the kids and you can't criticize them. Besides, they look adorable. The woman on the left in the dark red sari looks great, too.
Next page: is Jennifer Aniston tiny or is John Mayer huge? They look very oddly proportioned. (Says the 5'2" fat lady who is married to a six-foot-tall skinny guy.) Her dress is alright, nothing extraordinary. And John Legend's date looks pretty hot, whoever she is.
Robin Wright Penn: kinda dull, although I really like Sean Penn's all-black tux. I looked at Brad Pitt and said, "Man, he's looking kinda middle-aged." Angelina is just normal Angelina, although I like the green earrings and I'm not crazy about her hair. (This was a year with lots of very restrained hairdos, and I didn't care much for most of them, really.)
Next page is two dresses I don't like, but both of them are on non-famous people so I won't rag on them. (It's Mrs Downey Jr. and James Franco's date, if you're not following along and you really want to know.) Next page, ditto. Oh, no, wait, that's PHOEBE CATES? Well, she's fair game, I guess, and my god she looks like somebody's grandmother. Man, when did that happen? Also, that orange-red on both of those dresses is kinda awful. Next page is more wives that we will refrain from criticizing (well, one of them looks good), and then we finish up with Mickey Rourke, who is kinda beyond criticism, don't you think? He just looks like he always does. I do kinda like the white, though.
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