Winter Wonderland, or something like that

[mellicious]

It's officially winter. According to my phone (which seems to be fairly accurate as far as I can tell), it's 57F outside, and is supposed to be in the 40s at night for almost the whole next week, which is relatively chilly by our - admittedly wimpy - standards. We've had a lot of rain the past few days, so it's wet and chilly, yuck.

It hasn't been a good week, which is sort of typical for me for this time of year, really. I talked a week or so ago about having SAD, but then I also just tend to be sick this time of year - more often after Christmas than before, really. And of course it's really hard to sort those two things out - do you get depressed because you're sick, or vice versa? I really think it can work either way, and it's one of those things that's a complex interplay that people (being people, and impatient) have a tough time sorting out. 

Anyway, I haven't been to work since Monday. Monday I almost burst into tears at work - my boss was in a bad mood, and I was in a bad mood and/or sick and/or weepy... I cried through Hugo on Sunday, more than was really warranted, that was the first sign there, and then Monday in the Starbuck's drive-through the lady in front of my paid for me, and I barely got away from the window before I burst into tears again. I've been prone to that sort of hormonal-fueled (presumably) weepiness off and on the last couple of years. Who knows, I'm at menopause age and there's no telling what's going on with my hormones. I suspect I wasn't really needed at work for the most part, because there were things going on with the boat this week and I'm not involved with that. (I'm avoiding being specific about that, sorry.) I'm doing some work from home, in any case, more as the week has gone on, so it's not like I'm slacking off completely. And thank goodness, the tendency to weep at the drop of a hat seems to have slacked off a bit. I really do hate that.

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I haven't played a lot of SWTOR except when Col is around - not because I don't enjoy it, but more because I am feeling the press of Other Things I Ought To Be Doing. I did get the last of the cards mailed the other day. I have some little bracelets I found to give my female aunts and cousins - they're cute, and they were inexpensive, and that may be all they get right now. I told my aunt that I was just doing token gifts for everybody anyway. Most of the rest of them ought to be doing the same thing - I know my cousins in particular don't have any money right now. So I need to quit stressing over that and just wrap the bracelets and get over it. I have the gift cards for the kids. I haven't gotten my dad and my sister (who I probably won't be seeing anyway) anything... which seems weird. Maybe I'll order my dad something off of Amazon. Actually, maybe I should do that now - it might not get there til after Christmas but oh well. In past years we have gone to see my dad and his wife sometime the week after Christmas, say, and hung out at their house for an afternoon. But we saw them at Thanksgiving (which is unusual) and I've got to work next week so nothing like that may happen. And my sister is in San Antonio (some 250 miles away) and we really have stopped exchanging gifts, anyway. I sent her a card, and I'll call both her and my dad on Christmas Eve (tomorrow, oy vey) or Christmas Day, but that's about all we do. P. works retail so she probably has to work all week next week as well.

Despite the tone of what I wrote above, I'm not particularly depressed. I've been enjoying the making and sending of cards this year - and receiving them, a lot of them (thank you, Weet and TUS exchanges for that!) - Rob comes in with the mail and says, "Another one for Mel" - that's how we know they're cards from the "online people". (I increasingly am wanting everybody to call me Mel rather than my real name, but that's another whole discussion. My cardmaking group does call me Mel, but they're the only real-life people who do.)

Anyway, I may or may not get updates in in the next few days but - I hope everybody is enjoying your holidays, whether it's Hannukah, Yule, Solstice, Christmas or whatever!

Comments

[profrobert.livejournal.com]

Do you have a humidifier in your bedroom? Getting sick in winter is usually due to having the heat on, which dries out the air, which in turn dries out the mucus membranes, particularly while you sleep.

And for hormones, why not ask your gynecologist or see an endocrinologist? No reason not to get an answer to "who knows" about your hormones.

I'm starting to feel like a Jewish mother every time I comment on your LJ. Sorry if that's the case, it's just that I care, Bubbela!

[mellificent.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I'd never thought about a humidifier, maybe because we live in a part of the world where there's usually too much humidity rather than too little. But that doesn't mean it can't get dry inside when the heat's on, you're right about that.

About the hormones, the gynecologist IS maddeningly vague about it when I've asked - I think they're used to crazy perimenopausal women. (So far I haven't actually hit menopause but it should be due any time now.) I'm not sure if it's that big a deal that I want to go to an endocrinologist for it. I'll have to think about that one.

(And no, I don't mind the Jewish-mother thing!!) :)

[ursulahitler.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest trying to turn your wintry sadness into a kind of wistful melancholy... Try listening to the soundtrack of the Charlie Brown Christmas special, especially "Christmas Time is Here." That'll give you a big wiggly sad smile, just like Charlie Brown! That Joni Mitchell song about how she wishes she had a river she could skate away on, that's also good for pensively staring out the window with a cup of tea.

[mellificent.livejournal.com]

I have both of those on iTunes (and several of the Charlie Brown pieces, I think) - that Joni Mitchell song (it's just called "River") is a particular favorite. I think I made a mix CD once, or part of one, anyway, with what I called something like "anti-Christmas songs" - as you said, the melancholy side of Christmas. I know another song that was on it was that Emerson, Lake and Palmer song - "I Believe in Father Christmas" - which sounds more uplifting but is extremely cynical when you listen to the lyrics. I have very mixed feelings about Christmas nowadays - I still celebrate it, more or less, even though every time I see all that crap about the "real meaning of Christmas" etc. it makes me feel all stabby. (Bill O'Reilly and his supporters are ruining Christmas as a secular holiday... which of course was their intention.)

[john sherck (from livejournal.com)]

I've typically gotten sick around this time of year, though not this time. I'm not sure if that's good fortune or something else... last spring, I thought I had a nasty cold, but it just wasn't going away--turned out to be allergies of some sort or a sinus something. Something neither viral nor bacterial, I can't remember. My doctor wrote a prescription for a nasal steroid and told me to take it daily until at least early summer. Bam, problem solved. So this fall and winter when I started feeling yucky, I refilled my prescription and it's taken care of everything. So maybe all these years, I've been less sick than I thought? Whatever--it feels great to feel great (except, of course, that I forgot to bring it along on our travels to visit family--I'm expecting the worst to hit any moment now!).

Anyway, it's hard to sort out those sorts of chicken-and-egg problems, but it sure is hard to stay positive when you're dealing with illness. Best to you!