The Big C

Feb. 9th, 2019 04:09 am
mellicious: pink manicure (nails)
Well, so the biopsy was positive. I am actually not completely freaking out about it because it's very minor, as cancer goes. It's small and it's away from the chest wall (which apparently is good) and there's no lymph node involvement (I know that's good, it has to do with the way cancer can spread, for one thing) - I just have to have a lumpectomy. And that's really all I know right now. I have an appointment with the surgeon next week so that's when I'll know more.

I didn't tell anybody but Rob and my boss and my sister, so far. I definitely want as few people as possible to know at work because I don't want to have to deal with a million questions about it. Thank goodness for HIPAA, because I can tell you from personal experience that in the old days everybody in the whole hospital knew everything, pretty much immediately. It's a small town, where I work. (Far as I know, nobody I know in real life follows me here, so I'm not worried about you guys.)

I had a bad feeling about it - the first radiologist I talked to acted like it was probably nothing, but then after that I could just tell from the way they were talking that it sounded more worrisome. Then I got a call this morning from a doctor (rather than a nurse) and by the time I woke up he had called several times. So that didn't sound like it was going to be good news. But cancer is not the death sentence it used to be, in general. I've even managed to completely forget about this whole thing for long stretches of the day today.


Um, as far as the rest of life, I'm still playing Covet Fashion with my sister - have I talked about this here? and my god, is she competitive. I'm actually getting pretty good scores though so I may give her more of a run for her money than she expected. Also I finally went to my second movie of 2019 and it was a repeat - Into the Spider-verse. I liked it even better the second time. We will probably go see the Lego thing this weekend but we are waiting til Sunday night so there will hopefully be fewer kids.
mellicious: pink manicure (nails)
 I am not really loving life right now, to be quite honest. For one thing, middle age SUCKS - I have a needle biopsy coming up and I really hate the CPAP (not really a surprise). I'm not actually giving up on the CPAP or anything, it's too early for that. Also apparently I have REALLY SEVERE sleep apnea so I need to just suck it up on that. I'm just bitching, mostly. Also it was kind of stressful at work today - it's that that time of the month, so to speak - we're always busy when the month turns over. So I really just need to go to bed, probably, but I'll say a couple of things first. 

Bumblebee ended up being the only movie I saw in January. Rob went by himself to see Glass and Vice, and maybe a horror movie too, I forget. There was just nothing else I really wanted to see. We did rent Once Upon a Deadpool (I already bought Deadpool 2, and they're too similar, I don't think we need both) and it was fun - and an interesting concept, too. Maybe it'll become a trend, I don't know.

Let's see, I'm still watching The Expanse, I'm well into season 2 now (hi Bobbie! I was really excited to see Bobbie). On the books, I paused after the third book to re-read The Curse of Chalion for the umpteenth time. Now I'm trying to decide whether to go on to Paladin of Souls or go back to the Expanse series (I think the next one is Cibola Burn, or something like that). I also have a ton of other unread books on my Kindle, of course. I'll get around to... well, most of them... eventually. - Oh, also (back to TV now) we're three or four episodes in on the Lost In Space re-do. I like it more than I expected to. (I kind of like the old one even though it's really terrible. But this one is pretty good, actually.)

Have I mentioned that I have decided I am no longer even pretending to be a football fan? I used to be, but I've been losing interest for years. I would periodically re-gain some interest when the Texans or the Longhorns did something, but really I'm just not very interested. I think we're going to go see Into the Spiderverse on Sunday instead. (I love to go out places during the Super Bowl, it's so blessedly quiet.)

(Almost time for baseball, woo! Apparently we signed another pitcher in the last few days. I'm not sure if we ever got another catcher, but eh, we have some guys. Nobody can really replace McCann, I think.)

Complaints

Nov. 16th, 2006 11:33 pm
mellicious: pink manicure (fall tree)
Of course you can't buy a car and have it really be easy, that just wouldn't be right. We had a very easy time on Saturday, on the whole, and came home with the car, but then on Monday it developed that the credit union wanted all the papers to be in both of our names, to match the loan which was written up as a joint loan. OK, fine, so we'll go back and re-do the papers, shouldn't take long. Well, it didn't, once we got there. But getting there was a problem - we left right after work and promptly got caught in traffic. There was a wreck on the causeway, which is the only major way off the island. (The two "minor" ways, for you completists out there who want to know - minor mostly because they go to very out-of-the-way places - are the ferry to Bolivar Peninsula and the San Luis Pass Bridge, which is way the hell off, 25 miles south(east) at the very end of the island.) Plus, where normally the causeway is two bridges, right now there's only one because they're in the process of demolishing the old ones and rebuilding. They built the one new span, which is meant to be 4 lanes (in one direction) plus a full shoulder on each side - but at the moment, meaning the next couple of YEARS, presumably, it has traffic going both ways on it, which means six lanes and no shoulder whatsoever. Which makes it hell on earth when there's a wreck.

OK, so anyway, we eventually got out of traffic, up to the Toyota dealer and got the papers done. No problem. THEN I ended up spending most of the day Tuesday playing go-between between the dealer's finance guy and the loan guy at the credit union. These guys could not get their shit together. All that needed to happen was that the dealer's guy needed to fax the purchase order to the credit union guy, and in return they would get their money. Instead I get this: "Well, I sent the fax." "Well, I haven't gotten any faxes from them." Apparently neither of them is too good at working a fax machine. And I don't think they ever actually talked to one another, that would've made communication too easy. But eventually the Toyota dealer finally got all the papers to the CU, so presumably they've gotten their money by now and I can quit worrying about that. It was just another bit of stress that I really didn't need this week. I was seriously teetering on the edge.

 ------------------------

It didn't help that in the middle of all this, I get a call from radiology: I need to come in and have a follow-up mammogram. They called on Monday and scheduled it for Wednesday, which is a little ominous in itself because they usually make you wait longer than that. But then my OB/Gyn's nurse calls, and says, "Oh, I don't think it's anything to worry too much about, it just looks like some calcification," and so I relax for a while. So I go in yesterday, get it done, and the tech says, "OK, let me just go check the film real quick, I'll be back in a minute." 15 minutes go by and I'm starting to get worried. I figure the longer that takes, the more the chance that that means they're looking at something specific. And they were. They take me in to the room where the doctor is looking at the films - and she has it on a computer, too, I don't know if they scan it or what - and she shows me these spots with the calcification. She says there are some funny cells in there. 80% chance they're benign, 20% chance they're cancer. I can just wait 6 months and "see what happens" - which I think would drive me insane - or I can have a needle biopsy. So, I'm having a needle biopsy after Thanksgiving. I've had one once before, it's not a huge deal. I think wondering for six months if I have cancer or not would be a lot worse.

 ------------------------

This is not going to be a very cheery journal to read through the holidays, I suspect. (Even assuming that I don't have cancer!!) Y'all are going to have to bear with me, because writing about it does help, it seems.

For a little comic relief, though, take a look at Lupin's wand, which is, well, sorta scary. Makes me inclined to think the set designers had been reading Snape/Lupin fanfiction or something.


(I forgot to say earlier that I called this "Complaints" because I meant to link to the Complaints Choir - even though I'm sure everybody who cares to has seen it by now. I don't normally watch a lot of YouTube stuff, but I like that one.)

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